“In the end, the only regret the chances we didn’t take.”
I speak about taking chances, being brave, daring to live your dreams, etc. in yoga class all of the time. I often find myself presenting advice to my students that I should be giving myself. Sometimes, the advice is given on purpose, knowing that I learn best when I am teaching, but other times, it is the universe speaking through me. I seriously believe that. Some of the words I share during class are like word vomit. I have no idea where these things come from, but I trust the words wholeheartedly.
Over the last few months, I have had some big decisions to make and life changes to experience. For those of you who don’t know, I have recently finalized my divorce. I, also, closed a small business I absolutely loved building with my little sister, Sierra. In both losses, I knew I would feel a lot of sorrow and grief, but I was pretty shocked at the relief I felt. I felt like I had removed some heavy burden off of my shoulders and am finally able to walk around without the added shackles of responsibility, a failed marriage, and some desire I had to prove myself. I could clearly see a few doors closing behind me, but there were so many doors in front of me, calling my name and inviting me in to explore something new. I have been sitting, watching the doors (choices), hearing their beckoning, and feeling a strong urge to explore… explore one door in particular. It is, of course, the most risky, the most daring, but I have been listening and I knew it was in my heart.
A while back, I applied to an organization called Remote Year. This organization takes 75 people who are working remotely and they travel internationally together for twelve months. You’ve seen it on Facebook, right? I little bit after we originally filed for divorce, it came up on my feed and I figured it was worth a simple application, no harm. A couple weeks later, I got an email to submit my information for a second round of applications. I already decided this whole idea was bullshit and I was silly for applying in the first place, so I ignored it. I received a few more emails, urging me to apply and one of them said they would remove the application fee. I figured there was no risk in continuing my application now (it’s not like I am going), so why not? I was immediately accepted for the next round of interviews… a video interview… sounds a bit more serious now. Like, they’re actually expecting me to go?
Jump ahead a couple months, I have been approved to go on this trip of a lifetime. Oh my goodness! All I see is risk and financial ruin. But each night, I dream of it. I feel silly sharing my dreams to go on this trip with friends and family, but it just pours out of me, I can’t help it. Plus, they mostly seem really supportive of it. What? Seriously, people? You don’t see all the risk?! But I have to go… I should make it work…
I began taking things a bit more seriously. I cut out little pictures of the Remote Year logo, people on the trip, the places I would visit, and taped them all around my house, in my journal, and in my car. I was reminded daily of my goal. I applied for job after job after job. My goal was 10+ job applications a week. I knew I had this. I was reciting daily affirmations, visualizing a new job and packing and exploring, and I meditated daily, asking the universe to be my guide.
Nothing was happening. No job was coming my way and I was running out of time. Universe, what is happening?! I would think. I am reaching out for your guidance and you are not helping at all. What am I supposed to do?! Seriously, are you there?!
Finally, after some great conversations with the people in my life who do nothing but encourage me, I took a leap of faith. I made my $5,000 non-refundable deposit to leave in the end of May…. on my credit card! With zero plans for work and little plan for how I am going to pay that back. In fact, I didn’t even have my application ready for a passport and was waiting to get back my divorce papers to get everything adjusted to my maiden name. My pits were sweating bullets and I was anxious the rest of the day, but man was I pumped.
I got home that night, divorce papers had arrived. I can change my name, which means I can apply for a new passport… Okay, things will work out. It is totally fine. I went out to teach a yoga class and when I returned, I received my miracle from the universe. I had a job offer, and one I was really excited for.
I share this story for two reasons. First, I want to remind all of my students, family, and friends that the universe really does have your back. You have to take the leap of faith to allow the universe an opportunity to catch you, embrace you, and bless you with miracles.
Secondly, it is with mixed emotions that I announce my last day of teaching yoga at Copper Sky: March 7th. I will be continuing Buti class on a limited basis until late April. I am so sad to be leaving my students, who have taught me way more than I have ever taught them. But, I know that I will only be a good teacher if I am true to myself and I need to re-connect with myself and my own practice for a while. I am sincerely going to miss teaching.
I plan to have a few get-togethers before I depart and I promise to share all of that information with you. I will also be selling EVERYTHING I own, including 90% of my leggings, and will be keeping everyone up-to-date on my fundraising for the trip.
Thank you to everyone who has supported my journey so far. I cannot wait to share the future with you <3